Sick, Tired & Ready to Heal: A Deep Recovery Course for CFS, Autoimmune Illness & Emotional Burnout Module 3.2.1 - When Further Investigation Is Warranted Part 2 (My Diet Story)

When Further Investigation Is Warranted

Initial Health Breakdown

Initially, when I began to heal from the chronic breakdown of my body, I was dealing with:

Chronic stress
Chronic pain / fibromyalgia
Chronic fatigue
Cystic acne, eczema, asthma
Panic attacks, phobias, body dysmorphia
POTS – I always felt dizzy and lightheaded when standing, and going up the stairs was enough to make me sleep for a few hours

My body felt like it was falling to pieces. The fatigue was unparalleled to anything anyone can imagine.

Building the Bubble

When I finally did heal and was in the best shape physically and mentally I had ever been in my life, I had a great few years. I had built this little artificial environment that allowed me to stick to my list religiously without any external input. No triggers, no responsibilities, no pressure—things felt easy compared to the ordeal I had been through.

I started to expand my life from this point—venturing to college, meeting girls, meeting my partner. That artificial environment void of pressures and triggers started to crack. On one of my first dates, my partner took me for a pizza. Because I felt great, I thought to myself: “I’m probably okay to do this now. I have been well for a few years. I feel and look my best. I have developed this relationship with my body now that I will know when things are wrong.”

But this was the beginning of the next episode of chronic illness in my life.

The Loss of Boundaries

Nothing immediately happened—I still felt good. But as I became more preoccupied with life, I let it slide. One time turned into another and another. I lost all my dietary boundaries: sugar, takeaways, gluten—the lot came back into my life. I wanted to enjoy my time with my partner and friends. I didn’t want to be the odd one out.

This was one of my biggest lessons in life: Having boundaries.

During my years with my mother, I had no boundaries—I wasn’t allowed any. I was her property. I was an extension of her. I had learned this dynamic quite early on, and this became my blueprint for life: You don’t have boundaries for those that you love.

A tough life lesson I have to stay on top of if I want to stay well.

The Slow Decline

Fast forward a year. I wasn’t feeling my best. I wasn’t looking my best. I felt generally quite ‘blah.’ I didn’t think anything of it. I had lost all my boundaries and a lot of my self-love habits. I had let myself go, just enjoying time with my partner.

As things became more serious, my mother began to lose control and started making things more difficult for me. The support became conditional. If I obeyed her, she would buy me what I needed. If I disobeyed, I wasn’t allowed a train ticket. She wanted me back home, where I was “supposed” to be.

This dynamic started to really erode me and make me poorly. I felt trapped. I was still dependent on her—no job, no independence. I started to panic about my life. The trauma I had never fully acknowledged or addressed started to play out. I had Stockholm Syndrome.

I began to really love and care for my partner, but also felt like I was under the ownership of my mother. It’s a weird feeling, but I suspect that because this person mapped me from a young age, it’s like I was a programmed robot.

Everything Cracked Again

I remember the first time I went to see my girlfriend for the weekend. I came home to a very angry energy and both my mum and grandma venting at me—for staying away from home, as a 26-year-old man.

My grandma said: “You’ve made your mother poorly. You should be staying at home looking after your mother!” The once “supportive” family structure did a 180 when I didn’t obey. My foundation started to shake. The old traumas began to manifest.

Symptoms started to emerge. I was feeling awful. My mental health tanked. I stopped exercising. My sleep schedule was off. Everything began to unravel.

Around this time, I got glandular fever after being with my girlfriend. As a hermit with little outside interaction, my body was bombarded with viruses. I couldn’t eat or drink without pain. The chronic fatigue returned—not as bad as with M.E., but it still made life difficult.

Desperation and Relapse

The pressure cooker built. My body deteriorated. I forgot the lessons I had learned. The anger from my mother, the illness, the pressure—all of it caused me to relapse.

I relapsed in more ways than one. I returned to old addictions. I hurt my partner. I relapsed into shame, addiction, and avoidance.

My life became a mess again. I was sick. I had no job, no home, no independence. I was back in a nightmare I had fought so hard to leave behind.

The Crossroads

I stood at a crossroads: return to what I knew or break the cycle and move 250 miles away to start a new life.

The pull to return was immense. Trauma told me to go back to my childhood bedroom. But something deeper told me this was not the answer.

So I jumped. I moved away with a few belongings and left it all behind.

The Breakdown

Within weeks:

My urine turned dark red.
I had flu-like symptoms.
My wrists were locked from arthritis pain.
I was exhausted and sick.

I was hospitalized. Blood tests showed impaired kidney function and protein/blood in my urine. I was scheduled for a biopsy.

During the biopsy, they miscalculated the dosage. I flinched in pain. Minutes later, I was screaming from hemorrhaging. I was rushed into emergency care. I nearly lost a kidney.

Diagnosis: IgA Nephropathy—an autoimmune condition that affects the kidney filters.

I blamed myself entirely. I swore I’d never go off my diet again. But what I missed was the bigger truth: the immense stress I was under.

Recovery, Again

I returned to my healing protocol. After six months:

No blood in my urine
Reduced protein levels
Better energy and clarity

In 2019, I got a job as a telecommunications engineer. I gained independence. I felt empowered. But the job was exhausting. I pushed through stress for the sake of others. I ignored the signs.

Then I became a dad in 2020. I had a family, a full-time job, and a big dog. Life was beautiful but overwhelming.

And then, gout. Intense, painful attacks. My kidneys? Checked again. GFR normal, but my ACR (albumin-to-creatinine ratio) was severely elevated.

It shook me. Again.

Rebalancing, Redundancy & Realization

I experimented with the AIP (autoimmune protocol) diet. Raw food, salads, smoothies. It wasn’t easy, but it worked. My ACR dropped significantly.

I took redundancy. I examined my life again. I went on holiday and ate freely—no reactions. I was relaxed. I was happy.

Then it clicked: When I’m under chronic stress, I react to everything.

Maybe it’s not just the diet. Maybe it’s the way I respond to life.

The Final Lesson

Just before my holiday, my mum had been in psychosis. When I returned, I was told to collect her from the hospital.

Her house was destroyed. Black mold everywhere. She was incoherent. I took her in out of guilt.

Massive mistake.

Within 48 hours, she took over our lives. My health tanked. My partner intervened:

“She is killing you. I can’t watch this anymore.”

It hit me: I cannot be near her and be healthy.

Eventually, I moved her into a B&B. But the trauma continued. 50–100 texts per day. Constant guilt. Mental manipulation.

That’s when I finally saw it for what it was: domestic mental abuse.

I had never admitted it before. I always focused on diet. It was easier to manage than the reality of being abused by your own mother.

But this is the truth.

And finally, I’ve put myself first. I’m no longer going to pick up the pieces.

Final Thoughts

Health is about your life—not just your diet.

You can follow the cleanest AIP diet in the world, but if you’re under intense emotional abuse, your body will still fall apart.

✅ You need boundaries.
✅ You need peace.
✅ You need to confront what’s really hurting you.

If you’re still sick after doing everything “right”—maybe it’s time to look deeper.

Healing starts when we tell the truth about our lives. And for me, that truth is finally setting me free.